The Evolution of Gummy Candy

I would have to consider myself a connoisseur of candy especially those with Latin based names. Having the cavities to prove it, I think there were a lot of different variations within the same species of candy that I’ve consumed.  The majority of the candy shared the same characteristics and looked to be “evolved” from each previous species.  I find it much easier to classify things in this way because of these shared traits.  If you were to sub classify the candy species you could go on forever.

In the beginning, there were two species of candy.  These were the Twizzlerius gummus and the Cocolai roundus.  Both of these species lived harmoniously in the Garden of Eaten for many, many years.  One day a great wind blew the Cocolai roundus off the garden.  In their new habitat, the only thing for them to eat was shrinking leaves.  In time, the Cocolai roundus became much smaller.  So small, in fact, that eventually they disappeared.

The Twizzlerius were devastated by the loss of the Cocolai roundus and became torn in two.  Thus began the Great War of Twizzlerius.  After the war, only half of the population remained.  These survivors left the garden and traveled to the ocean.  Once at the ocean, some of the Twizzlerius gummus went to live in the water and some went to live in the caves.  In time, the ocean Twizzlerius became adapted to being in the water all day and turned into Gelatinus fishious.  The cave dwelling Twizzlerius developed a hard outer shell and became smoother to travel through the rough habitat.  They became Jellybellius obolai. 

The Gelatinus fishious suddenly split into two populations when one group decided they wanted to see the world and the other wanted to stay in one part of the water.  The first group traveled all over the ocean and in order to outrun their predators became skinnier and faster.  They became known as Wormius squiggilus.  The Wormius traveled the whole world over and opened underwater tiki huts.  However, when they all migrated to a new area in Brazil, they were wiped out by gigantic eels.  The second group thrived for a very long time but then a great flood washed them into a small lake.  The only way for them to get food was to develop legs and leap in and out of water.  Over time, they became a species called Gelatinus frogus. 

Meanwhile, the Jellybellius obolai were squished by a cave collapse and the survivors were much flatter.  They moved out of caves and into condos.  The condos had frigid air conditioning so over time the Jellybellius developed a rough sugar coating to withhold body heat.  This species of Jellybellius became the Sucra wedgy. The Sucra’s liked to travel to the lake in the summer.  They liked it so much that they all decided to move there.  Eventually, the Gelatinous frogus and the Sucra wedgy’s began mating and out came the Gummus bearus.